Monday, 9 January 2012
jan 8, 2012
the difference in our two situations is that my friend wants to resolve things and has made overtures to that effect, and i don't. or at least i don't think i can. it's my instinct to stay as far away from the person as possible for as long as possible. in my situation, an ongoing peace between us seems unlikely with all the accumulated baggage. my gut says hold that line, keep that distance. and yet...it's always a little more complicated than singular instinct, isn't it?
obviously, i've been thinking a lot about mending lately, and it occurred to me today that sometimes the most mendful thing to do in a conflict is to let go completely; to stop expecting and interacting and let your illusions and upsets settle like silt. feelings can run their course more quickly that way and, through a process of letting everything shift and rot and fall away and recombine, the experience has the room to become something else. peace? calm? forgiveness? understanding? maybe. ideally. i guess what i'm wondering is whether making peace is always a thing you do with others. maybe you can build it in the space that's created by no longer engaging.