Monday, 27 February 2012

feb 27, 2012

mending holes. we've all done it. patching bare walls after you move your stuff out of a place you once called home.

i was doing this for a friend last night, and i was struck by the poetry of that act. i think that extending the possibility of a fresh start to a new tenant is sort of beautiful. a fresh, blank canvas to work with. sure, the new person will make their own holes, scrape the floor and, in countless other ways, leave their mark on the energy and walls and floors and doors and windows that make up a place; a home. but they certainly deserve a good start, nonetheless.

i decided to stay over at my friend's last night after we were done packing and sorting and patching. it was my friend's last night in her home, which she used to share with her partner of 10 years. as i was falling asleep, i was thinking about how her bed used to be mine. i shared it with my ex annie. when we broke up, neither of us wanted the bed because it was too loaded. we had bought it together, with the intention of it being our bed for a long time to come. at the time, i knew my friend needed a new bed desperately, and she didn't seem to mind its history. perfect. at least i thought so at the time.

as i was laying there last night, i was thinking about inheritance and the energy within things - like with a new apartment: inheriting patched versus damaged walls, freshly painted walls versus dingy, clean floors versus dusty. when something is new to you - like an apartment or clothing or furniture - it should feel and seem new, yes? effort should go into it being tended and mended by the previous owner before it's passed on. i felt guilty that i hadn't put any energy into that when it came to the bed, and i wondered if it would keep on having a legacy of breakups. i felt sad about that. i really hope not. can the legacy of a thing be turned around, made different? well, i'm going to try.

as the bed goes to a new owner today, i send with it these wishes:
that what has been damaged be repaired
that the sadness it has supported and absorbed will now disperse
that, from now on, it give rise to rest and love and pleasure and fun
that nothing that belongs to others influence the new owner or her relationships ♥
so mote it be


  1. Thanks for this post... it occurs to me that this is exactly what I'm doing in my life currently, both figuratively and literally. The past year saw the official end of a relationship, but also a wonderful rebirth of the spirit within me. I am now looking at a home that I just "existed within" and making repairs to the environment around me. At the same time, I have new love and relationships within the world of roller derby and have a few final interviews for a new job. I'm feeling renewed in my life, and that's such a wonderful feeling! <3

  2. So true, Luna! I always try to leave my apartment as clean as possible for the next tenant. It's about honouring the time I spent there, but also clearing my energy out of the space and making it welcoming for the new tenant.